On Unavailability: The case for losing control
I met with my best friends last Friday afternoon, and something struck me. We were amazed by the fact that we all actually had the same day off. A scheduling miracle for anyone over thirty.
"Well, technically I'm on sick leave", one of them admitted, offering a theatrical cough. He explained how he'd just facetimed his doctor, received his sick note via email, and ordered some comfort food for his "recovery". All on his phone. All done in minutes.
It was the ultimate display of convenience. No waiting, no effort, no friction. It's an amazing world where almost any desire can be fulfilled instantly... Right? I mean, we sat there and I couldn't help but wonder: If everything is this easy, why didn't it feel more like a triumph? Maybe the friction - the waiting, the struggling, the uncertainty - is exactly what gives things their value.
This paradox is what one of my favorite non-fiction authors, the German sociologist Hartmut Rosa, explores in his work. He calls it Unverfügbarkeit, often translated as unavailability or uncontrollability.
He argues that we are obsessed with making everything in the world available to us. Everything should be calculable, optimized and ready on demand. Somehow though, for us to be really moved or touched by something, Rosa says, things need to remain somewhat uncontrollable. If we're in control of everything, well, "everything" eventually just becomes mute.
Do you remember turning on the radio at home or in your car and being happy to hear a song you actually enjoyed? Did you feel the same way when you opened Spotify today?
Do you remember getting lost in a new city and stumbling upon a place that wasn’t in any guidebook? Does it still feel like a discovery when you follow a blue line on your screen to a 4.8-star rated restaurant where you’ve already seen photos of every dish?
Have you ever talked to an AI that was so supportive and helpful and emotionally mature? Did it become your best friend in the world?
Let me be clear: I am not talking about basic human necesseties here. When you're in need of clean water, medicine, or a roof over your head, "availability" is a lifesaver. Literally. No one should romanticize struggle when it comes to survival.
The problem arises when this logic is applied to the rest of our lives, aside from our basic needs. Because this is the logic of the market. Keep optimizing. Capitalism hates Unverfügbarkeit, because you can't monetize what you can't control. You can't scale a coincidence.
In this day and age, we know - we've heard it a million times and countless studies confirm - that consumption alone does not create happiness. Not in the long run. Yet, every unpredictable moment is turned into a guaranteed commodity.
On that Friday afternoon, we ended up in heated discussions. On politics, relationships, I don't even remember all the details. It was messy, loud, and exhausting. And definitely not convenient.
But looking back, this was exactly what made that day so special. The friction of our different opinions, the struggle to fully understand each other's points, being uncertain when you'll eventually come to terms. And, with all that inconvenient stuff, the absolute assurance of being with your best friends.
And maybe that's a good balance to aim for. Facetiming the doctor gave us the time, but everything else gave us value. We used this convenience to not escape reality, but crash right into it. It made the case for losing control clearer than any theory could.
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